it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
