I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
