Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
