I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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