the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
