Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
