that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
