Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
