Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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