two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
