Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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