We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
