I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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