Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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