Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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