bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
