I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
