Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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