i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we're so committed to being not committed
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
