I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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