That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
