im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
