Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize