Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
