Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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