you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
