I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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