It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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