Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
