I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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