oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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