3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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