Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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