i always forget guys have bellybuttons
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
