Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize