and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
