I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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