Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize