ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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