apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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