Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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