Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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