Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
