Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
