I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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