He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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