I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
