listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
