I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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