Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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