im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
