we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
