Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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