is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
