I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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