she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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