I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
