even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
True strength comes from lack of pants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
