..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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