That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize