I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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