My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
