u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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