it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
