I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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