you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
